by Adam Riske I sure hope 2017 is better. Allows Me to Still Defend John Travolta: In a Valley of Violence Angriest I Got During a Movie: ...
by Adam Riske
I sure hope 2017 is better.
Allows Me to Still Defend John Travolta: In a Valley of Violence
Angriest I Got During a Movie: Dirty Grandpa, The Lobster, High Rise, Sausage Party
Animation That Touches Your Head: Zootopia
Animation That Touches Your Heart: Kubo and the Two Strings
Best Audience Experience: Don’t Breathe
Best Performance in a Movie Not Enough People Saw: Ethan Hawke, Born to Be Blue
Best Performance in a Movie That You’re Fine if You Never See: Jonah Hill, War Dogs
Best Song: “Drive It Like You Stole It” from Sing Street
Best Supporting Actor in a Movie I Liked: John Goodman, 10 Cloverfield Lane
Best Supporting Actor in a Movie I Liked Much Much Less: Dan Fogler, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Biggest Disappointments: 31, Blair Witch, Keanu
Biggest Waste of Pop Culture Calories: Ghostbusters (2016)
Decent: The Conjuring 2, Hacksaw Ridge, Snowden
Deserved a Better Fate than it Got: The BFG
Does Everything Right: Green Room
Does this Count for a Top Ten List? It Rules: O.J.: Made in America
Funniest Movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Funniest Performance: Ryan Gosling, The Nice Guys
Funniest Scene: “What don’t you want?” in Hell or High Water
Give Me a Break: Lo and Behold: Reveries of a Connected World
Good but Not Great for Me: Manchester By the Sea
Good Except for the First Few Minutes Which are Unforgivable: Joshy
I Can’t Believe I Actually Saw… Alice Through the Looking Glass, Now You See Me 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
I Dunno…I Liked The Songs??? Is that Good Enough?: Moana
I Had a Happy Childhood so I Don’t Need: Pete’s Dragon (2016)
I Loved it and then I Calmed Down: Don’t Think Twice, Finding Dory
I Mean…I Guess… The Handmaiden, Morris From America
Indies to Seek Out: First Girl I Loved, I Am Not a Serial Killer
I Only Remember the Airport Scene: Captain America: Civil War
It’s Fine: De Palma, Emelie, Hush, Jason Bourne, The Program, Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made, Southside with You
It’s Good but I Don’t Really Know Why: The Fits
I Wished I Liked it More: Everybody Wants Some!!
Just Didn’t Do It for Me…I Don’t Feel Bad: The Neon Demon
Just Didn’t Do It for Me…I Feel Bad: Beyond the Gates
Kevin Hart is Bad: Central Intelligence
Kevin Hart is Really Bad: Kevin Hart: What Now?
Kevin Hart is the Worst: Ride Along 2
Like Trying to Read a Book Written in Portuguese When You Don’t Know the Language or How to Read in General: Warcraft
Maybe Jeff Nichols Isn’t Awesome? Loving, Midnight Special
Meanest Movie (But Good): Nocturnal Animals
Meh: Arrival, Barbershop: Back in Business, The Edge of Seventeen, The Finest Hours, Into the Forest, Lights Out, Morgan, Southbound
Most Romantic: Moonlight
Movie I Liked a Little More Because Jan Likes it: The Shallows
Movies I Like More than Anyone Else: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, Nerve, Wiener-Dog
Movies that Hate You: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad
Movie that Starts Fine and then Falls Off a Cliff: Rules Don’t Apply
Nope: Abattoir, The Boy, The Forest, My Blind Brother, The Magnificent Seven (2016), Mechanic: Resurrection, Office Christmas Party, Pet
Not Yet Released Indies to Seek Out: The Blackcoat’s Daughter, The Other Half, War on Everyone
Performance that Made a Meh Movie Good: Kristen Stewart, Café Society
Pleasant Surprises: Bad Moms, Deadpool, Deepwater Horizon, How to Be Single, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Weiner
PTSD From My Own Life Experience: Goat
Reminded Me Alden Ehrenreich was Also Really Good in Tetro: Hail, Caesar!
Scariest Children: Those twins in The Witch
Scummiest Movie: Triple 9
Scariest Movie: Trash Fire
“Shocking” Movie that’s Not Shocking at All: Tickled
So Bad it Becomes Funny: Bleed for This, The Girl on the Train, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
So Bad it Becomes Insulting: The Accountant
So Much Better than it Had Any Right to Be: Ouija: Origin of Evil
So Much Fun: Star Trek Beyond
Stab Me in the Fucking Scrotum: X-Men: Apocalypse
Starts Out Good and Then Decides to Kill Itself: Me Before You
Sweetest Movie: Life, Animated
These are Getting Better: The Purge: Election Year
Tom Hanks Movie Power Rankings: 1) A Hologram for the King 2) Sully 3) Inferno
Walkouts: Demolition, Hardcore Henry, Jane Got a Gun, The Legend of Tarzan, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Whatever: Doctor Strange, The Jungle Book, Swiss Army Man
Why is Everyone Wowed by the Last Shot of this Movie? It’s Implausible!: The Invitation
Wished I Liked it More than I Did Because it’s Heart is in the Right Place: Yoga Hosers
Worst CGI: Independence Day: Resurgence
Would Have Been an Oscar Contender in 1998: Money Monster
WTF: Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk
Allows Me to Still Defend John Travolta: In a Valley of Violence
Angriest I Got During a Movie: Dirty Grandpa, The Lobster, High Rise, Sausage Party
Animation That Touches Your Head: Zootopia
Animation That Touches Your Heart: Kubo and the Two Strings
Best Audience Experience: Don’t Breathe
Best Performance in a Movie Not Enough People Saw: Ethan Hawke, Born to Be Blue
Best Performance in a Movie That You’re Fine if You Never See: Jonah Hill, War Dogs
Best Song: “Drive It Like You Stole It” from Sing Street
Best Supporting Actor in a Movie I Liked: John Goodman, 10 Cloverfield Lane
Best Supporting Actor in a Movie I Liked Much Much Less: Dan Fogler, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Biggest Disappointments: 31, Blair Witch, Keanu
Biggest Waste of Pop Culture Calories: Ghostbusters (2016)
Decent: The Conjuring 2, Hacksaw Ridge, Snowden
Deserved a Better Fate than it Got: The BFG
Does Everything Right: Green Room
Does this Count for a Top Ten List? It Rules: O.J.: Made in America
Funniest Movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Funniest Performance: Ryan Gosling, The Nice Guys
Give Me a Break: Lo and Behold: Reveries of a Connected World
Good but Not Great for Me: Manchester By the Sea
Good Except for the First Few Minutes Which are Unforgivable: Joshy
I Can’t Believe I Actually Saw… Alice Through the Looking Glass, Now You See Me 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
I Dunno…I Liked The Songs??? Is that Good Enough?: Moana
I Had a Happy Childhood so I Don’t Need: Pete’s Dragon (2016)
I Loved it and then I Calmed Down: Don’t Think Twice, Finding Dory
I Mean…I Guess… The Handmaiden, Morris From America
Indies to Seek Out: First Girl I Loved, I Am Not a Serial Killer
I Only Remember the Airport Scene: Captain America: Civil War
It’s Fine: De Palma, Emelie, Hush, Jason Bourne, The Program, Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made, Southside with You
It’s Good but I Don’t Really Know Why: The Fits
I Wished I Liked it More: Everybody Wants Some!!
Just Didn’t Do It for Me…I Don’t Feel Bad: The Neon Demon
Just Didn’t Do It for Me…I Feel Bad: Beyond the Gates
Kevin Hart is Bad: Central Intelligence
Kevin Hart is Really Bad: Kevin Hart: What Now?
Like Trying to Read a Book Written in Portuguese When You Don’t Know the Language or How to Read in General: Warcraft
Maybe Jeff Nichols Isn’t Awesome? Loving, Midnight Special
Meanest Movie (But Good): Nocturnal Animals
Meh: Arrival, Barbershop: Back in Business, The Edge of Seventeen, The Finest Hours, Into the Forest, Lights Out, Morgan, Southbound
Most Romantic: Moonlight
Movie I Liked a Little More Because Jan Likes it: The Shallows
Movies I Like More than Anyone Else: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, Nerve, Wiener-Dog
Movies that Hate You: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad
Movie that Starts Fine and then Falls Off a Cliff: Rules Don’t Apply
Nope: Abattoir, The Boy, The Forest, My Blind Brother, The Magnificent Seven (2016), Mechanic: Resurrection, Office Christmas Party, Pet
Not Yet Released Indies to Seek Out: The Blackcoat’s Daughter, The Other Half, War on Everyone
Performance that Made a Meh Movie Good: Kristen Stewart, Café Society
Pleasant Surprises: Bad Moms, Deadpool, Deepwater Horizon, How to Be Single, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Weiner
PTSD From My Own Life Experience: Goat
Reminded Me Alden Ehrenreich was Also Really Good in Tetro: Hail, Caesar!
Scariest Children: Those twins in The Witch
Scariest Movie: Trash Fire
“Shocking” Movie that’s Not Shocking at All: Tickled
So Bad it Becomes Funny: Bleed for This, The Girl on the Train, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
So Bad it Becomes Insulting: The Accountant
So Much Better than it Had Any Right to Be: Ouija: Origin of Evil
So Much Fun: Star Trek Beyond
Stab Me in the Fucking Scrotum: X-Men: Apocalypse
Starts Out Good and Then Decides to Kill Itself: Me Before You
Sweetest Movie: Life, Animated
These are Getting Better: The Purge: Election Year
Tom Hanks Movie Power Rankings: 1) A Hologram for the King 2) Sully 3) Inferno
Walkouts: Demolition, Hardcore Henry, Jane Got a Gun, The Legend of Tarzan, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Whatever: Doctor Strange, The Jungle Book, Swiss Army Man
Why is Everyone Wowed by the Last Shot of this Movie? It’s Implausible!: The Invitation
Wished I Liked it More than I Did Because it’s Heart is in the Right Place: Yoga Hosers
Worst CGI: Independence Day: Resurgence
Would Have Been an Oscar Contender in 1998: Money Monster
WTF: Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk
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